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Molly Ross's Notes on Xen Creature Cookery 1; Barnacles

Discussion in 'In-Character Area' started by miknop, Jun 27, 2020.

  1. miknop

    miknop Newcomer

    Mar 13, 2018
    +8 / 0 / -0
    Aliens are thought to be disgusting. My mom made them taste good. I'm building on her work.

    Barnacles are easy pickings, but a pain to work with due to their natural glue. Depending on what the thing's been eating, it could taste like shit or taste completely fine if made right. When I'm hunting barnacles, this is how I find the good ones;

    What kind of bones are around? If they look like weird-ass alien bones, it's less like that you'll make anything good. I also avoid barnacles with human bones around, so I can't vouch for the flavor those give. Things like bird or rat skeletons point towards palatable food.

    What does the barnacle look like? They're weird alien things, but you can tell when they're well fed. They sort of bulge outward at the top, and the glue that fixes them to ceilings is more clear and less yellow/green.

    Now, the main problem with barnacles is the glue. They're full of the stuff, and when they die, their bodies sort of release it throughout the meat. You have to work fast, or else the meat will be sticky and hard to work with without neutralizing it with acetone or, if that's unavailable, booze. Booze tastes better, so I'd go for booze. Wait too long, and it'll be too sticky to pry off the ceiling to butcher.

    Barnacle is surprisingly palatable; fairly neutral and meaty, with a slightly spongy texture that goes away with long cooking or roasting. The meat is tender; which makes sense considering they hardly move. The tongue is hard to prepare due to the glue that coats it needing chemically neutralized, but it has a more savory, flavorful taste. All in all, barnacles are a pain to work with but surprisingly tasty.

    So, next time you're scouring dark maintenance passages for dinner, don't overlook the humble barnacle. Headcrabs may be the most obvious choice of meal, but barnacles are easy to hunt and quite edible.
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